Take the Day Off!
by Christina TM
Summary: K needs a day off, but he won't take it.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own MEN IN BLACK.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Doesn't K strike you as the kind of person who never, ever, *ever* takes a sick day? Like, not even if his life depends on it? Well, I was in a silly mood and wrote a silly story about it. Not much plot, just randomness and (hopefully) laughs.  
  
RATED: G.   
  
TAKE THE DAY OFF!  
  
"A-CHOO!"  
  
The sneeze seemed to vibrate the walls of MIB Headquarters, and every single agent turned to see who had made it. "Bless you, Agent K!" One of them called out, answering the unspoken question.   
  
"Thanks," was K's muffled reply.  
  
"K, man, maybe you should take the day off," J said. "I mean-"  
  
K gave his partner a glare over his tissue. "I'm fine, Slick."  
  
"You are not *fine,*" J protested, "You sound like crap, man!"  
  
"Just a cold," K managed before sneezing again.  
  
"Look, I don't want to be riding in that little car with you coughin' and sneezin' and givin' *me* your cold!" J protested.  
  
K looked about ready to fire back a response, but a helpless fit of coughing stopped him.   
  
Just then Zed passed by. "K, you look-"  
  
"Don't say it, Boss, I'm all right," K said roughly, reaching into his pocket for another tissue. "Shoot, that one's used," he began digging again.  
  
J looked at Zed. "Does this man look well to you?" He asked, pointing at K.  
  
Zed quickly examined the older agent. "K, maybe you should go see L."  
  
"For the last...A-CHOO!...time, I am *not sick!*" K insisted. "And anyway, Slick, I'm not sending you out there without me! You'll probably blast us out of the solar system."  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," J said sarcastically. "While you were giving people their TV Guides I was busy saving the planet from total annihilation!"  
  
K stood up deliberately. "Listen to me. Both of you." He first looked at J, then at Zed. "I am *not sick.* I'm fine. All I need is a little while to wake up."  
  
Later in the day, J was growing quite weary of K's constant coughing and sneezing. An entire bag of Halls cough drops hadn't done much good.   
  
"K, let's head back," J tried for the umpteenth time. "Let's call it a day. You're worse than you were this morning."  
  
"It's not that bad, kid, really," K said as the car veered dangerously to the right.  
  
J grabbed the steering wheel and righted the car. "You can't even keep the car on the road, K!" He said. "Pull over and let me drive."  
  
"No." K said firmly.   
  
"Pull *over* and *let me drive!*" J yanked the steering wheel his way and pulled the emergency brake.  
  
"J!" K shouted, punctuated by a sneeze. Having run out of tissues, K reached up to wipe his nose with his sleeve.  
  
"K!" J said, disgusted. "Come on, man, that's gross!"  
  
"I'm not sick, kid," K insisted.  
  
J didn't let go of the emergency brake. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way," he said. "But I'm gonna drive. I mean, look at you! You're sick, K. Just let me drive this once, OK?"  
  
K sighed. "All right," he said, opening his door and getting out. "But just *this once.*"  
  
J nodded, suppressing a smile. *The man's ill,* he thought, *He never lets me drive.*  
  
It had been a long time, K wasn't sure exactly how long. But it was long enough to fall asleep. "Where are we?" He managed as J pulled the car into a parking garage.  
  
"Back at Headquarters," J said.   
  
"We're done for the day?" K asked.  
  
"You are," J stopped the car.  
  
"You're not..." K gave his partner a weak glare. "J!"  
  
J opened the car door and got out. "Don't try to get out of it, K," he said. "Anyone can see you're sick, OK? Now just go to your quarters and take the rest of the day off."  
  
"J-"  
  
"I could call Zed and have him make it an order," J offered.  
  
K sighed. Truth be told, he felt too tired to fight with his partner anyway. "All right," he got out of the car, trying not to wince as he felt his sinuses object to the change in elevation.   
  
"Whoa there, partner," J said as K staggered back against the car. "You better lean on me. Looks like you can barely stand up."  
  
K was not in his normal crotchety mood. If he had been, he would not have even let J allude to such a concept. But the kid was right, and K was feeling spectacularly non-argumentative. *I'll need to battle this out with him as soon as my head stops pounding.*  
  
"Come on." Jay nudged one shoulder under K's arm. "Just 'cause I'm so nice, we'll go in the back way so no one will see you."  
  
K's gratitude was greater than he would admit to even when he was healthy as a horse. His energy was completely sapped simply from stumbling into Headquarters. A coughing fit wracked his body leaving the old agent completely breathless. J stopped for a moment, allowing K to draw oxygen back into his screaming lungs. "Thanks," he managed to grunt.  
  
"Try not to breathe on me," J responded. If he hadn't been so wiped out, K might have cracked a smile at that.  
  
"Here we are." J opened the door to K's quarters and deposited him on the bed. "Rest up, partner. See you in the morning."  
  
"Slick?" K croaked. "Thanks."  
  
J paused at the door. "Don't mention it," he said, seeming almost touched. He stalled for a moment, then the old J was back. "To me or anyone else. You know, if the other guys knew about this, they'd say..." the young agent caught himself. "Forget it, man. See you later." He left.  
  
Zed was waiting outside of K's quarters for J to come along. When the black agent closed the door, the head of MIB spoke up.  
  
"Good work, J."  
  
J jumped. "Zed! Man, you scared me!" His expression changed from shock to anxiety. "You didn't see...us...did you?"  
  
Zed nodded. "The whole thing."  
  
"Don't tell K," J said. "I came in the back way just so nobody would see us."  
  
"Not a word," Zed promised. He extended his hand. "Congratulations."  
  
J shook the hand and regarded Zed with a puzzled expression. "For what?"  
  
Zed couldn't help the smile that crept across his craggy features. "For convincing agent K to take his first sick day in forty years." 


End file.
